How do I control for zombies in my back yard?

They're always wandering in, trampling my begonias, leaving rotting flesh all over the fence, eating my neighbor's brains, and tipping over my bird-feeder. Drat them all! What can be done?!

How do I control for zombies in my back yard?
Problems with zombies in and around your property? Sick and tired of trampled begonias and brainless neighbors? Are the cats on strike ‘til you fix the birdfeeder?





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And Super ZomBgone is easy to use… even a child can do it! Just sprinkle fast-acting Super ZomBgone dust around the perimeter, count to eleven, and watch those zombies drop like flies! Super ZomBGone is even effective against soon-to-be zombies, who are already infected, but not yet symptomatic!





But that’s not all! Act now and we’ll throw in this handy-dandy zombie-proof helmet—absolutely FREE! You heard correctly! Act now and you can protect your brains against zombies even when you’re on somebody else’s property!





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(muffled voice)


Allowing your children to treat the perimeter is not recommended. Zombies whose names begin with R or V may require additional treatments. Not responsible for lawn damage caused by decaying corpses.
Reply:Oh, there's a wonderful new product on the market called "Zom-Be-Gone." Works like a charm.
Reply:Let me rummage thru my storage closet real quick...





Ah, here we go, one bonafide, genuine zombie vaporizer.... Yes I know it looks like a Cuisinart, but it'll work... I think...
Reply:oh man and i though i was having problems.... wow... well you can always move.
Reply:shoot them all
Reply:You gotta go Rambo, on those darned nuisance zombies, otherwise their numbers just keep on increasing.....You must cull the herd, once a week or so, to keep them under control.
Reply:get a shot gun
Reply:Dynamite, lots and lots of dynamite
Reply:Well if it was me, id throw some rotten meat in the neighbors yard.
Reply:I vote for a flamethrower. I'd check your local pawn shop.
Reply:silly string, and lots of it.
Reply:i f you cant beat then, join them
Reply:treat unto others as they treat unto you... not the real saying but hey
Reply:I was going to say feed em the brains of politicians but if you did that the zombies would starve to death and they are already dead. You're on your own dude.
Reply:Just grab a whip and start cracking.
Reply:HEAD OFF APPLY DIRECTLY TO THOSE ZOMBIES


HEAD OFF APPLY DIRECTLY TO THOSE ZOMBIES
Reply:Zombies?


ZOMBIES!?!


*puts on Army Helmet and squints through binoculars*





Hmm ... Yep. Quite an infestion. 'Course, Zombies are like ants. Where there's one, there's fifty.





First, I would stop hanging chunks of meat from your windows.


Second, You do know your house is built in the middle of a cemetary, right?


Third, and I highly recommended this, how does 'Burning Moat of Lava' strike you ...
Reply:What are you the dumbest person alive ?!





You shoot them in the head, or burn them.


Or Y'know that wasp long shot spray that comes in a can, that works well too.





DUH! :D
Reply:Spray T-Rex urine around your yard. Not only will this keep zombies away, but it'll keep other dinosaurs away as well. It worked in Jurassic Park III, so it should work for you, too.
Reply:Put out a bear trap, it will cut off their feet and they can't tramp back in anymore.
Reply:Call Scooby and the gang. They're experienced in this.
Reply:Let me pee in your backyard. That should act as a zombie deterrent.
Reply:Get a shotgun, and blow their brains out. It always works in the movies. Or you could burn them, that would be cool.
Reply:Sing to them.. The caterwalling should drive them away.. Or pee in you're neighbors yard and the smell will attract them there if not then at least you can get a little relief...
Reply:allow me to exterminate the undead I'm a veteran at this stuff

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